Today is suicide awareness day and I'd like to share some facts about that tragic event that almost happened to me last May.
The last thing I said to her before I left was "please don't kill yourself while I'm gone. I love you."
While I was away at my cousins (maybe 1000 feet down the road) we drew tarot cards. I drew the hangman. I knew something was wrong then, comparing that to the cards I drew the day before.
It was the first 911 call I've ever had to make, with her in the back ground yelling at us to hang up. this was her choice.
I had to sleep alone, in the that motel, with empty bottles of medication and coffee brandy for days.
To this day I still have her suicide notes.
Lastly, I never got to greieve over the near-loss of my mother. Because I realized quickly, as mad as I was about what she had done to herself and everyone who loves her. My cousin and I had saved her life. And that will always out way how hurt I was, I am, and I will probably always be.
Now: If any of you have any feelings of suicide on this or any other day. Message me. Call your best friend. Yell to your parents.
It's scary, but I can guarantee in the long run they want you around. They love you with everything they have. And you are an amazing, beautiful person. <3